Om nom nom

Everyone excited about this weekend?

I know I'm excited to see Jeff's piss poor impersonation of a "No Power Having" He-Man this weekend.

You have the... FAIL.

I don't like to kick a man when he's down but...

Before...

After...

Enough said.

Projections dont mean shit...part deux.

Let me be the first to step away from my own fantasy game to comment on one of the others. Perhaps one of the biggest upsets KNOWN TO MANKIND!! No...I am not talking about the Patriots missing out on perfection. I am talking about fantasy upsets. I am talking about a certain "juggernaut" that was supposed to annihilate his formerly winless opponent by a whopping final PROJECTED score of 199 to...well does it really matter? When your projected to put up 199...you are gonna win, right? I mean...199! Dam, thats a lot of points. You're gonna blog about your potential victory, right? You're gonna blast your oppenent face to face with relentless banter, right?
The answer is HELL YES YOU ARE! Cuz you know victory has been practicly (or should i say "projectively") handed to you on a silver platter. thats right! I am talking about good ol "Get off my Ditka."

You must have the best players from every single team, right?
Sadly, the answer is no. You had the best players from a single team. And that team is the New York "Super" Giants. You put all your faith in a single team, and as I had stated, it "projectively" blew up in yo' face!!!
So, to quote the great Nelson Muntz, i have just one thing to say....



Congrats to Gabe, aka "Just need a win" aka should now be known as "I beat Mike Z"

:)

Soon to be 0-8

Dear 0-7
By now you're probably thinking to your self, "I'm not ready for this fantasy football league." Yes, we ARE just that much better than you are.

Unfortunatly, for you that is, you're already in my crosshairs. Soon you just be known as 0-8.

Let me give you some advice when we meet up this weekend. Where your equipment properly because this weekend is going to hurt.

Don't be upset. Not everybody is cut out to make the starting line up.

Don't be upset because we will always need waterboys and I think you'll do a great job.

An ode to Zero and Seven

Poor Gabe, trying so bad to win a game.

But every week its always the same.

Everybody wants to be first.

But only Gabe gets the title of worst.

So try again against Mike, maybe he's hit his peak.

But if that's a bust, there is always next week.

TECHNICALITY

Leave your excuses at home.....

David and Goliath Story

This week I had to play a person who we can not name cause he changes every week (No Action in Pants -- or Danger to Self) Who I have lost to every time. The match up look good on paper but than when Sunday hit something happen.... Players started to get hurt and did not look good. A dark storm was coming.

With no running backs putting up points and no receivers showing up it was not looking good. So I started to search for hope I looked around the Fantasy world and heard of a new Fantasy football god name Kim Jong

But all i saw there was a gay cult. Just a bunch of guys wanting to bang each other.

So i continue to search for hope. At the end of Sunday night was over with only my QB, Kicker, and Defense putting up points things did not look good. But when Monday night hit something happen a ray of light punch threw the dark clouds that looked like a sure lost.

And a hand of Fate stepped in and he said AAAYYY!!

And finally a W has come my way. David has beaten his Goliath

After the W I looked up to see who gave me this Win and What do you know it was a Real Fantasy Football god

So to you Mr. Fonz i Respect you, and Thank you for this W!!

We can see how Bad ass you really are!!

Thank you Kim Jong

In your honor.

Time to wake up and face reality Polk!

Polk High Hero, I know you have been going thru the weeks feeling like this season cant get any better! Its like a DREAM!!




But soon, as the season gets deeper and deeper, you will realize more and more that your dream season...is becoming a NIGHTMARE!



So the sooner you realize this fact, the sooner you will be left with your only out:



Remember Polk, as great as things have been for you this year, there is one thing you forgot at the beginning of the season.............A BUNDY NEVER WINS!!!

Latin Stallions are gay...

So this week, my opposition, if you can call it that, is a team called Latin Stallion. I figured I should do a little research on this team, because they're already speaking of
playoffs. I did a little google research and came to one conclusion; anyone who uses that name, is gay.

Google "Latin Stallion"

The first two links are for MySpace pages, and one of them is a DJ. Come on, who still uses MySpace? Tom isn't even on MySpace anymore...

Gay...

The next two links, are actually to equestrian content.

Gay...

The following link is to an IMDB page, so I get excited. Woo hoo, maybe a bad ass movie! Nope, apparently Latin Stallion is the guy who played the cop sucker, in Copsuckers: Parole Officer Perez 3

Seriously, GAY...

Basically after that I was done, the rest of the links were to illinois.backpages.com where there were ads for sensual massages and pictures of guys showing their ass...

My eyes hurt enough already

So with that, I'll let Riley say it for me:

Football gods!!

High and mighty football god,

You screwed me...

There was a time when you use to love me and hand me victories.

Instead the past two weeks have been horiable...

Week 5 you let me lose by 0.18 points....

Week 6 you put me up againts the highest scoring team!

For this I now ask Kim Jong to show me some Love!!!!

Kim Jong,

You don't have to be Ronery any longer.. I'm here for you man. Just be there for me.

Overconfidence

It looks like this.

And this.

And Most importantly... This.

Team Gang Bang

Oh Team Gang Bang you are going down this weekend, and there is nothing you can do!!!

It's time for you just to walk away. Cause Latin Stallion is running all over you!!!

OH NO HE DI'INT!

I got a few "Oh no he di'int" moments for week 5





1. Markus' threepeat team projected to beat me by 30 points. Pff, oh no the NFL DI'INT!

2. Latin Stallion just pulling out the 1 point win over Ditka...after starting Michael Bush as a second RB!!! Oh no he DI'INT!

and 3. Power Overwhelming\need more power\ how bout getting a fucking win before EVAR calling me over-rated!!! you sir...PASS on that question next time! This one also gets an...

No no no...

It might have been close for a while...and I may have been down in points....but in the end I pulled it out...and by I what I mean is Jahvid Best

Comm-itch Please!!!

Being the Commish. Claiming to be a "Founding Father." Making up stupid ass rules and forcing of the players in the league to comply or not play. Calling out names during the draft. Talking shit during the week before the games. All that for what?

For...

AN ASS WHOOPING!!!

Now change your name Comm-itch!

Get off my Wins .... Kickers!!

No one can predict what kind of impact a kicker can do!!!

And Mike if you need any advice on how the game is played I put a video for you to watch!

Happy Dance!

It's not over yet...but I think we can all do the happy dance after that Jahvid Best 88 yard TD run!

Ha ha ha

Bryan, this is how our bout is going to end

Message to Get off my Ditka..

Oh Mike, I know you are worried about this week. Cause when I win, I will take all the air out of you about your team. And no one will fear your team.

So from the great words of Street Fighter get ready for a

Shoryuken!!!!

And bow down to a Real Fantasy Team that is going all the way!!

Mike we get it...

First off, it's not BI as in BI-curious, like when people talk about you.


It's BYE as in BYE week...

Second, you can take screen shots and then highlight part of it, yeah we get it, but come on, try something new



And how come you're always on the blog talking shit, but none of it is ever directed at your opponent? Do you not comprehend the purpose or are you too chicken shit to aim something towards your weekly adversary?