Latin Stallion Vs Whatcha Talkin' Bout Hillis You know what's going to happen!!

It's time to get Spanked!!

3-0 WHO'S NEXT?

FE FI FO FUM.......I SMELL ANOTHER OWNER BUM!

To my division...

I've got two words for yah...

SUCK IT!!!

Jeff-

I was thinking of fantasy team names that are more to your style of play. Here are some I was thinking of:

Power OverNothing

Power OverLittleBoys

Bi-Week

0-3

Overwhelmingly Weak

Overwhelmingly BadAtFantasyFootball

I realize that you're new to fantasy football (At least I hope you are). Let's talk about a concept you need to learn. It's called Coaching; this means knowing the players on your team well enough so you can optimize your points earned each week. I know this is a lot, but you might want to read that part again and slower this time.

See all the players on your bench that put up more points than the players you used. That's the opposite of coaching.

I know it might be confusing because you sit close to Dorian, but don't listen to him. Your players DO NOT have super powers. You have to learn to coach!

Thanks for an EASY week 3 win.

Hiding?

Latin Stallion hiding?? Oh newbie.... In case you didn't know this is not your normal Fantasy Football league. No more pretending your in a league like years before. I will not be 0-3 in our division. Hopefully you will do better next week against Paul, and hopefully good old Vick can last a whole game?

So I was reading up on the Dolphin History Books, and I discovered something...

Strange.

Turns out my opponent this week has a bad habit of dropping players in a panic.

So with that in mind, the league should be watching for Arian Foster or Ahmad Bradshaw to hit the waiver wire sometime this week.

Enjoy!

Where's Mike

It's almost like he's hiding the friday before a close game.

Why you Hiding Joe?

You've been a little quiet this week, why you hiding Joe? I guess you've realized that you have no chance this weekend... Have fun being 0 and 3!

This is what I am talking bout hillis!!

I already got my victory dance for this week when I go 3-0. Lemme give you a lil sample:

A wise man once said...

Hooters hooters....yum, yum, yum.

Hooter hooters....on a girl that's dumb.

And I'm going to kick Loryn's ass this week...

Who's Next??

You thought my team was weak. You though you had it in the bag. You thought I was a push over.

WHO'S NEXT??????

Run Joe Run!

Run from your week 2 defeat!

THE FACTORY IS OPEN!!

THE GLUE FACTORY!

The time has come....

Wait...Wait...Im playing WHO this week??

Ohhhh...I know who that is. Its the guy that had picked Tom Brady some seasons ago. I forget, how did that work out again? Well let me just remind you how ur season went in one little pic:




I will give you a moment to let it soak in..........................................................................................................................................................................OK, GOOD.

Now that you remember your place in this league, I want you to know that so far your team is healthy and i am happy for you. But, this is another week, and I got a feeling it aint gonna be as good as your last game. So to help YOU out, I got this nice lil chart for ya, I hope it helps you when monday comes around. I just dont want you stuttering when someone asks, "Hey, Mike, what happened man?":



Since I wont be in til Monday, I just wanna thank you for the great effort you put in this week, but it just wasnt in the cards. But hell, I am a good competitor, so good luck, and God bless America!

Its ON

Sup bitches! I finally have access to this shit, so its on!!!

Well....DO YOU?

There I was on a quiet Monday afternoon listening to my favorite song, on vinyl no less....

I was saying to myself "Self...how can this get any better?" Well what do you know....they were replaying my favorite sports documentary on HBO!!

Now at this point....I was at a near-painful level of happiness. I was smiling so much that my cheeks were beginning to hurt....So I decided to pick up one of my favorite go-to books..

And that's when I heard it......a voice booming down from the heavens that said...

What the......

And then it happened.....

I think it's safe to say that yes...I believe in Miracles...sorry Gabriel...

Im not one for cliche's but today I feel this one is necesary. You see it in hollywood all the time. The young gun often learns early that ones elder although salty and brittle will always triumph in the begining. The dust of week one has finally settled. When the sun shined on the virtual grid iron Tuesday morning it revealed a not so shocking fact. The young guns yipped and yapped..a few even threatened the league with mindless chatter which was quickly disregarded by the elders. In the end the young gun learned that he must sit like a good puppy until his master allows him to come into the house. THE HOUSE THAT THE ELDERS BUILT!!!

So take a long look at the standings Young Whipper Snappers....You all lost week 1.

AND THEN IT WAS WON!!! 1-0 BITCHES!!!!!

When you get bucked you gotta hang on

I want to congratulate Joe in a very very nice performance thursday night. Sad to say though his horse has bucked. You see Joe timing is everything. If that horse bucks right you better be ready to counter to the left. THe same is true in football. When the wide receiver breaks out of his route the quarterback must have the ball already in the air so the reception is seemless. In your case you have two very comprable receivers that are receiving passes from two unproven quarterbacks in the systems they are in. I need not shed light on who i speak of since i know you are aware of them. For the rest reading this post due note that and i quote "the stallion blew its load in game #1 of the 2011 season."

So brush yourself off lil doggie after this horse bucks you on Sunday. Dont fret that your pretty new jersey got all dirty. We shall meet again on the virtual grid iron and maybe you can figure out a way to stay on that horse you call the "Latin Stallion".

And the crowd...goes....yawn

First let's start with a collective

YAWNNNNNNN

Oh Gabriel....you make it way too easy on me. I do kinda wonder how long you were working on that blog post though... Did you painfully agonize over this decision? Were you asking the rest of the league their opinion even though you already knew which picture you wanted to use?

SOUND FAMILIAR?

And always remember...the 'stache plays!

Polk High Hero, Worst Draft Position???

I’m sure everyone heard how much Bryan bitched and moaned about having the “WORST POSITION” in this year’s fantasy draft. I guess having the 6^th pick is hard, I mean he was only able to pick up an Elite QB but still that’s not good enough. I guess Bryan’s given up already but it’s okay, there’s always next year. So wipe those tears and clear up that dirt above your lip cause I can smell that shit from here.

And don't worry about the time i took, i just wanted to make sure i drafted the best team to stop you from making the playoffs :)

Get Off My Ditka Living In Fantasy Land

No thanks Mike...think I'll stay in reality where I'm MM MM Good!

Week 1 Prediction!

To Munsoned

Is it me or is Aaron Rogers being an asshole? Peyton doesn't look to happy sitting on the sidelines.

I guess it's tough knowing you WON'T be playing for who knows how long this year!

Speaking of Bad Meat Products...

Oh Spam Parmesan your words will never affect me, in fact your messages are nothing more than just Spam.

And you know what else your name reminds me of?? A Spam meat product that no likes or eats but for some reason we have it there just to entertain us and have on a side dish to fill up space to gross us out.

You say you have a great draft team but all i see is old jelly filled rotten meat that would make you puke. I know it, the The League knows it... And I think you know it too.

Do You Know This Man???

WARNING!!!!

We have an A.P.B. out for the above man.

What was his crime you ask?

LYING TO HIMSELF!

This "perp" took 2 weeks, 1 minute, and 25 seconds to make his first draft pick when the rest of the league already knew who he was going to pick...and oh yeah...so did he!

The suspect is to be considered unarmed and poses no fantasy threat. I mean really...he took that long to decide on his first pick AS THE #1 PICK!! And it was the pick we all knew he was going to take all along.

If this story teaches us anything it's....

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED FROM THIS GUY!!!

This horse is starting to turn......

Do you smell that? This room smells like a dead animal. Over in the corner there is this latin stallion who at first glance appears to be new and shiny untouched by those that pray upon its flesh for sustinance. This stallion appears to be the talk of the town. In the wild the french would have called it "cheval ruse" for its play on words. Its subtle mentions of probable perfection and wisdom don't do it the justice that it deserves in the eyes of its owner. But thats all smoke and mirrors as far as im concerned. See what this stallion doesnt know is that its his turn to take that long walk to the slaughter house. Back in the 70's when times were tough horse meat was the go to meat for those starving families. Today is no different! This latin stallion is on its way to slaughter and he doesnt even know about it. Should i warn this horse of its future demise you ask? Hell fucking no! Let him get whats coming to him. The warnings are not part of this game we call "fantasy". But hey... no sense in beating a dead horse. The clock is ticking little horsey..... the clock is ticking......

I know projections dont mean shit....but........

Someone once said "Projections dont mean shit!"
This is a phrase that some teams will definetly want to go by this season as their projected scores will appear mediocre compared to their current opposition. This weeks winner of the "Projections dont mean shit" award is Power Overwhelming. Not only do his projected points seem inferior in comparison...i expect an all out fall-on-face performance.

My dilemna is that P.O. should not be thinking about projection points, but more along the lines of these two words:

Team BANGARANG

So I see you have Rufio as your picture...





You know he dies before the end...

Oh, so you yourself are saying you won't even make the playoffs...